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Scream

I’ve been trying to write something ever since the course started. A few days in, I really tried to write something but it felt like screaming into my hands. There was so much I wanted to say but I just couldn’t find the right words, or the words just didn’t do my feelings justice. Putting words to my feelings just felt inane and empty. How can I possibly summarize what I experienced during the past few days into mere words? I’ve been asked by family, friends and students to tell them about my days and what I’ve learned. But how? I haven’t learned anything new, I’ve experienced it. I have experienced, for just a brief moment of my life, what it’s like to be a woman. I experienced what it’s like to be on the receiving end of cat calling, harassment, sexual violence, humiliation and domination. I’m not saying that I know what it’s like to be a woman or that I understand women. But just for a few days; I’ve seen it, felt it, hated it

My biggest take-away from the course has been emotional, not technical. My job now is to turn these feelings into action and into knowledge. I really would love to do a full summary of the course and tell you guys about all that we did and all the fun we had. Of course it’s fun to see your colleagues run around in heels, dresses and wigs. But there was always this cloud of seriousness following us throughout the course. I think this cloud will follow me for a long time, reminding me of the serious matters at hand. 

A massive shoutout and thank you to Gracia Ho-Asjoe, for being an amazing teacher and instructor throughout this course. If you ever have the chance to attend a seminar or a workshop with her, do it. Regardless of your gender, but especially if you’re a woman. You will not regret it. 

For those of you who are already in the KMG system, the Women Instructor Course is a must. 

Stay strong!

For(on)ward

I said I’d give this whole “blogging on a regular basis” a go. Obviously it didn’t work out very well. I’ll spare you the list of excuses and just get on with what I have to say.

Despite 2016 being a year that many (me included) thought be a disastrous year, I accomplished a lot of things during the year. Everything from instructor courses, camps and certifications; to successfully starting my own company and working with clients. For now, I’m only working B2B (business to business) – but I’ll be opening up limited slots for private sessions and projects soon. There will be opportunities to book me for single sessions with short-term goals, but I’d much rather work with long-term-goals and clients. During the short time I’ve been running my business, I’ve helped several people move past difficulties in their lives. Getting them back on track, or set them on a completely different path, which has led to a happier and healthier life. That’s what I want to do. I want to use all the experience and knowledge that I have in the areas of  health, fitness, strength training, self-defense and mental conditioning to help people. Regardless if it’s about overcoming the past or striving to shape a new future.

So far, it appears as if 2017 has a lot in store for me. I’ve already been presented with some quite unique and interesting possibilities. I have three different events that I will be attending during the first quarter of 2017. Two of them are instructor courses. I’ll most likely be covering them in the same format as previous courses here on the blog. Until then, stay tuned and stay safe.

Aftermath & New beginnings

I’ve been home for a couple of days now after the CFIC and I’ve had time to digest everything that happened during the course. It’s safe to say that the eight days of CFIC were tough. Really, really, tough. I’m not just talking about the physical aspects; but the mental. The GIC is an amazing instructor course, but it wasn’t really eye-opening for me. Sure I learned a ton of new stuff and I do recommend it for anyone who wishes to become an instructor in the system. But the CFIC brought me to a whole new level of fighting and developed me on every level. I feel like a different fighter, different instructor and maybe even a different person. I thought of the CFIC as a destination at first. You know, the course you go to, learn a ton a new stuff and come back with an even bigger toolbox. While that may be partly true, the course was more of a stairway to another floor or dimension. While I’m sure my toolbox contains some more tools after the course; I came back with a new understanding of things. I still have a lot, a lot, to learn. But I feel that I’m seeing my path more clearly now. Both Jovan and Eyal helped me to discover new things about myself which I need to pursue, and I will. In due time. So in conclusion, the CFIC is a must for anyone who wants to go further down the rabbit hole. Anyone who wishes to evolve, not just in Krav Maga; but in fighting and personal development in general. The funny thing is, I’m already planning to take the course again in the future. When I’m ready for it and when I’ve worked on the things I need to work on right now. You’re not always going to like what you hear during the course. But if you’re ready to step out of your comfort zone, it will raise you to a whole other level.

Now, on to something else. New beginnings! Just before I left for the CFIC, I decided to shut my school down. I don’t know if you guys remember, but a while back I actually wrote that starting a school was never my plan, it just happened. Well, it wasn’t working out – so I decided to move on and join some of my fellow instructors at G√∂teborgs Krav Maga-klubb. It’s one of the three KMG schools that we have here in Gothenburg, and I’m humbled and honored to be working with them. They all welcomed me with open arms and I intend to give them and the students every ounce of knowledge that I bring to the table. If you’re ever in town (with a KMG passport), let me know and you’re more than welcome to join us. Until next time. Stay tuned, stay strong.

CFIC Days 6 & 7: High achiever

I have a problem. I’m what you would call a “high achiever”. Sounds good right? Well, it can be. I always want to improve and learn. But sometimes it turns into the fact that I want to be the best. It’s a behavior that I’m changing to not really focusing on “winning”. It can sometimes be a good quality to possess, but it can get me in trouble. Especially with myself. Sometimes I forget to be the student. I forget that I’m doing this course because I want to learn, not because I already know everything. So high achiever is not always something positive. It is, if I focus on the right thing. So naturally, it can cause a lot of frustration and a chaotic internal dialogue. So I’ll be honest with you. Today was not a good day. There was a lot of internal dialogue, a lot of self-doubt and emotion. I think it has something to do with just being exhausted after seven days and missing my family back home. I’m an emotional guy, it is what it is. I should have just tried to take in the information today without putting any emotion or value into it. Everything has been challenging and forcing us instructors to look at our system from other perspectives. It’s been a mix of “aha”, “oh wow” and “I don’t know shit”. But mostly it’s been one hell of a ride. Mainly I need to remind myself to enjoy the ride and not always analyze everything to shreds. Especially my own performance. Hell. If I knew everything, I would be leading these courses – not taking them. I’m too hard on myself, as I’m sure a lot of you are as well. It’s a problem that needs to be dealt with. Stay strong.